Remembrances of a dear friend, Ralph Mannheimer

August 28, 2009
by Sara Brewster

Ralph was my dear friend and colleague for more than 25 years. We met when we were both appointed to the Millwood Task Force, a town committee with a mission to serve the community of Millwood and West End of the town of New Castle. Ralph was its longest serving member, a record unlikely to be surpassed.

When Ralph and I joined the Millwood Task Force, it was a small but dedicated group of people. Sometimes no more than five people attended a meeting. We gathered in an upstairs office in Firehouse #1 on Millwood Road. The core group included very different personalities, all with passionate ideas about exploring ways that would put Millwood and the West End “on the map.” 

An extraordinary ability to lead with kindness

Our exuberant discussions often sent us way off the subject at hand. Thank goodness for Ralph, who quietly but firmly brought us back to reality, usually with a twinkle in his eye and a gentle smile. “What an extraordinary gift,” I thought at the time. “How does he do it? He never seems to raise his voice. He just knows how to get people to work together. What’s his magic?”

The answer was revealed when I read the biography written by his niece Mikki. (See “Ralph Charles Mannheimer, 1916-2009,” by Mikki Shaw, NewCastleNOW.org, August 21, 2009.) It is the remarkable story of a large intergenerational family who learned to live, love and play together. No wonder he was such a successful team player. He was absorbing it in his cradle. No wonder he was so effective at keeping us together.

It enabled this fledgling task force to become a successful advocate for our part of town.

We set ambitious goals and Ralph was always there cheering us on and adding his own carefully reasoned thoughts and ideas. First, we pushed the town to update its Master Plan. Very audacious, and we were criticized for trying to lead rather than following the leaders. Today, much has changed and the town leaders support and encourage input from the group.

Next task: Develop our own dreams for the hamlet. The dreams were bold and we set the ball rolling. We did much of the preliminary work of a design plan and handed it over to other boards and commissions for their imprimatur. Not easy to hand over our precious baby, but we did. Ralph’s steady hand was all over this project too.

A strong advocate for open spaces

Ralph also encouraged us to take an active role in supporting the acquisition and preservation of open spaces. We did. He loved to hike and enjoyed many of the town parks. He used the trails at Gedney Park and worked to ensure they were properly maintained. Warburg Park near his home was also one of his pet projects.

For more than 12 years he participated in the search for a site for a new firehouse. He was frustrated by the many set backs, but I think he was pleased to know that a new building is growing nearer to reality. I wish he could have lived to see it come to pass.

Ralph stayed with the Millwood Task Force until illness forced him to resign. The group he nurtured continues to row and flourish and still manages to keep the sense of community that began in a small room at the top of the stairs of Millwood Firehouse #1.

The Millwood Task Force became a remarkable training ground for moving on to other community organizations. A former chairman, Slade Cargill, served two terms as assistant town supervisor; another former member, Herb Keuchen, became a member of the Board of Architectural Review. I was appointed a member of the Planning Board and served for two years its chairman. Today, two former members are Millwood Fire Commissioners, Chairperson Hala Makowska and Alan Schapiro.

Ralph and his generous spirit taught us a great deal about community service. He loved the place he called home and I like to think that we all benefited from this gift and strive to give our best to this remarkable and unostentatious community. In its own way it has become somewhat like Ralph’s large and intergenerational family. I am proud to be part of it. 

Sara Brewster has lived in the West End of New Castle for over 40 years and became active in community affairs in the early 1980s. She is a past-chairperson of the Millwood Task Force and a past-chairperson of the New Castle Planning Board.  She raised four children here and now has four grandchildren.  Her article about Ralph Mannheimer includes some remarks that she delivered at his memorial service.